Of the smiles along the way

What it is about the sunrises and sunsets that instills so much calm? So much so that all your problems melt away into nothingness. So much so that you feel like it's God's way of telling you that there is more to the life he has given us than the problem gnawing at our existence. What is it about the smile on a baby's face as he sleeps that makes you break into a one too? That brings back the innocence we have lost somewhere in the humdrum of our life. What it is about a loving gesture from a loved one that is enough to see our day through? That it seems like a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak scenario. That it gives you so much strength that you can take all of life's battles head on. Why are little things like these such an integral part of our happiness?

Look for it and it can't be found anywhere, but get involved in something, and you can often catch it peeking from behind the curtains. In the beauty of a flower, in the innocence of a child, in the smile of a person for whom you've come as a divine intervention.

Yes we are responsible for our own happiness. No one can give us that. We have to see it in the most myriad of things. Those cues are the absolute lifelines. We can't help but depend on those. No matter how much we claim that our happiness doesn't depend on anyone, it does. We are all so interconnected. We aren't that mechanized yet that the presence or absence of people we deem important makes no difference to us. We expect them to be rock steady and we expect their unending love and support. Somewhere our happiness is linked to them. If that is not the case then it should not hurt when they leave. If that is not the case, then when something exciting happens to us, they shouldn't be the first one's we want to break it to. If that is not the case, they should not be the ones we want to turn to for council when we seem to have lost our way. If that is not the case, then even when we have everything we always wanted from life, we ought not to yearn for them.And if that is not the case, their sadness should not affect us so much. I guess that drives home the point.

They say you don't get everything in life. Fair enough. You gain some, you loose plenty. And even if we don't have everything we always wanted, we learn to find our happiness in whatever life dumps us with. The thing with living in a society is, that society thinks they have the right to decide for us. It gets engrained in our being so much that anything away from the stereotypical is not supposed to be good for us. Why do we feel safe being a part of the herd? Why must we be conformists in every sphere of our life. Be it as silly as a choice of hairstyle to the graver choice of career.

A little more acceptance should do the trick. Accepting people as they are, with the package they come bundled with. And appreciating them for the little things that make us smile every time we remember them.

Intricacies of being a human being

Has this ever happened to you, or is it another of those oddities that are unique to me? When you are in the act, it seems like the most sensible thing to do. You can counter any argument from any quarter of the earth and prove that no one and nothing can refute your logic. The moment passes and senses alight lightly on your shoulder. With the moment that has passed, passes away the lofty logic. You realize what you’ve done in the heat of the moment. You feel like beating yourself up for what was full of sense till some time back. And then it falls on you like a tone of bricks. Ironically the whole world watches your mindless antics. Not even a tenth sees your remorse. No entertainment value there, hence no TRP’s ofcourse. But what hits you more than anything else is that the moment has passed and the damage has been done. If damage control is possible, you’re in for a tremendous amount of luck. If not, God save you. But even if you fall in the latter category, much as you wish, the world does not end, and to be honest, the world does not even care. What is so huge to you means nothing to others. Not that you really care what the world thinks anyway. But what hurts is that you’ve fallen in your own eyes. More than anyone else, you’ve let yourself down. No matter how huge the calamity, life goes on, and the world at large behaves like nothing happened, or like they didn’t see. It might seem a mammoth task to pick up the pieces and get up, but that happens. Sometimes gradually with a lot of effort, and sometimes in a jiffy. So coming back to the gaffe ceremoniously performed by you. What do you do next? You’d probably find yourself either curled up or lying flat on your face in some nondescript corner of the world you call home. Would that remotely help? Most likely not. What next? My logic is, every one goofs up every once in a while. At times we don’t even learn from our past mistakes. If the current goof up is bigger than the prior one’s, chances are the lessons you’ve learnt are also bigger than the previous ones. And if that be the case, we know precisely what not to do in the future. Another tiny something that hit me was that a chunk of the problems can be solved and major faux pases averted if we have a little more understanding and patience. This is a remedy that can come in handy if we are to zoom out a bit and look at world peace. Hope, a little sugar, understanding and dollops of patience. (Ouch! I am so good!)

A teeny weeny note anyone?

As I write this, I've 153 profile visitors.I was thrilled when I had 8 visitors in the beginning so obviously it's dizzying now. My friend who egged me into doing this would very generously leave comments to keep me going. It's more than kind of her to have never left a nasty comment no matter how bad the post.

She is my life support. I believe everyone must have a friend like her to get through life and living. There have been times when a problem in my life has been so gripping that I've ended up discussing it with her a zillion times and every single time she has listened to me patiently and has given me a much needed perspective and advise. The phrase friend-philosopher-guide fits her to the T. She has a solution for everything that happens in my life. Which is as close to an instruction- manual-for life as you can get. If I've ever gotten on her nerves and shoved her to the brink of tearing apart her hair in frustration (and I know I have) or have her throw up her hands heaven wards because she has temporarily given up on someone incorrigible, I hereby publicly apologize :-)

She has a hell of a lot on her hands and still finds the time for me. I am floored! Google her name and she is all over the place. One day she will be a huge name in India Incorporation and I'd be so proud to stand at the back of the audience and applaud aloud lauding her for her achievements and contribution to society. She is Meenal Mukadam.

Coming back to the topic of no consequence. Just what have these 153 people been doing on my profile? Did they accidentally drop by and as swiftly veered elsewhere? Did they spot me commenting somewhere and dropped by out of sheer curiosity and left disappointed? Do they actually read what I write? Do they read and don't bother to leave a footprint? It doesn't matter what they do. The big question is, why in the world do they not leave comments?

One fine day, this very site would crash when a trillion people would be logging in every second to read stuff I dole out. Ah!How good wishful thinking feels! Dream on sheer bliss!

BEING A TWENTIES - SOMETHING

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

( An email forward I just had to preserve)

Is there Really no time?

I have been wondering for quite some time now. Is there really no time? In the midst of things that supposedly matter, haven't we a spare minute to say a "Hello"? In a time when distances decrease with the latest in technology, is sending a mail asking for too much? Makes me think how people managed in the past when snail mail used to take 10 days and more to arrive. When there was no such thing as telephones. When telegrams were the only way to urgently notify near and dear ones. People were so much closer than they are now. An e-mail would take a minute to be sent and received. But who has the time? We'd rather send forwards than take the time to write a few words. How heartless have we grown? And why?

There was a time when to make a long distance call one had to go to a telephone booth. Same for national calling. People had to stand in queues while they waited for their turn. And the calls had to be brief. They cost a hell of a lot. These days even 7 year olds have a cell-phone to call their own. What with pre-activated national and international calling, they have the world at the click of their fingers.

Maybe it isn't all about having the time and has more to do with the intentions. The emphasis these days isn't on nurturing relationships but more on achieving things. Which is a sad state of affairs according to me.

No matter how busy the individual, and irrespective of what he/she does, there is always time to touch base. Always. Any excuse to not do so is flimsy in my books. Outright unconvincing.

Well to each his own. If you can't spare a moment for an individual who matters to you- a friend or a relative, then it speaks volumes about how much of an importance you give to these people. But in a way it's good for people at the receiving end of your coldness. They know precisely how much of an importance they had in your life and wouldn't waste any more time in your fold. One day in the midst of all the past and present achievements, one might just realize( and there is a maybe here too), that finally it wasn't the money and position that really mattered and accounted for an individual's happiness. And that day, those who mattered would be so far away that even a phone call or a mail won't bring them back. You felt you had it all in the palm of your hand, until you opened your fist to see that the sand has slipped away and you don't even know where.

A song for every occasion

Have you ever caught yourself listening to the strains of a long forgotten song ,on a radio playing in the distance, and feel like you have been transported back in time? Years flip back in micro seconds and you can actually feel what you felt back then. As if it is happening here and now. Every moment comes back with full force. Such is the effect music has on me! Which is why they probably say that music is so therapeutic. Every song gets attached to a certain era and someone unique. Mostly bringing back the memories of the good times and at times moving one to tears. In the larger scheme of things, we might be leading inconsequential lives but for ourselves, each day ,we are writing a new page in our history. Stuff that legends will be made of one day. And we don't even know!

No matter how rotten the mood you suffer from, music will always uplift your soul. Because it has the power to shift your focus from the here and now to the there and then. Instilling in you the promise of better things to come.

Nostalgia is how you could describe your feelings in a word. Isn't it kind of strange, that when we are actually living that time, we often find ten problems with it, something unsatisfactory, something more to be looked forward to, but some months down the line, those are the very moments we look back upon with a longing. A longing for that piece in time to stretch a little longer. An anticipation for similar things to come in the future. And how we despised it back then!

The same goes with our schools and colleges as well. When we are there, we'd advise all and sundry against joining those institutions. As if those are places akin to hell. But out of there, and we long to meet everyone who we were with back then. Ironical ain't it!

The little things make up the big things. Be right here and live it up. Today ain't coming back tomorrow. Neither will these situations and people. All that will remain will be fables we'd narrate to our grandchildren. It won't amuse them probably, but the glint in our eyes will be there for all to see.