Reality Bites

There is no escaping reality is there. One day it hits you in the face when you least expect it to. Life was all rosy because maybe that is all that you wanted to see. And then you get a glimpse of the other side. The view ain't good. Things don't make sense. They aren't as they should be. You see people doing things they shouldn't be. You see bad happening to the good people and good happening to the cheats. The deserving have to struggle their way up to get things which just happen to fall into the laps of the less deserving. 

They say that we mustn't think so. But really. What IS the world coming to? It's taboo to watch news and read newspapers these days. They make no sense. Are they mad or am I loosing it? As if there isn't chaos in the world already, there is a healthy amount in our own lives too. Live with it, deal with it, revel in it. 

We are lucky to be where we are and to have what we do. But when you look at what the others have to go through, how can you just sit smug and feel good about yourself? I mean till when. If the good can happen to some, why can't it happen to everyone? One of my colleagues remarked that in a day and age like today, we can't afford to think about anyone but ourselves. True. But how long can you be happy when someone you know or don't is going through hell? 

Well an escape from reality should help. Reconnecting with those who matter should help. Bonding with nature should do the same. 

There is always a method to the madness. Only we don't know what and yet. 

This is what watching those "reality" movies does to me. And you poor reader, have to bear the brunt. I think they should just ban those movies from getting released. Movies are all about an escape from reality. 2 or 3 hours of a world of make believe, where everything is fine and everything is lovely. Where good conquers the evil. Where the hero gets the heroine. Where good stuff happens to good people. But no! They have to tell you that life is not a bed of roses. 

The whole point is. We know it all. Just don't tell us about it. 

Shake Off & Step Up

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say 
something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's 
inevitable.Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you 
dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper 
problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get. You'll find your joy, peace 
and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more 
time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get 
sick. 
So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. 
Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still 
responsible for your own feelings. In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose 
them. For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were 
"stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting 
again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom 
and necessity of her suggestions. 
As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your 
feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim. But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings 
and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about our feelings. 
And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do. Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM 
DISAPPOINTMENT. 
It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. 
After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed 
the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it. Five days later, 
Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him 
that his work had been destroyed. Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These 
things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all 
here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad." 
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to 
see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so 
I had better start writing again." Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics 
of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment. After all, what could Carlyle have done 
about his burnt manuscript? Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do 
was to get bitter or get started. 
And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or 
you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices. 
Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up (pun intended!!??? may be). It's like the farmer who 
had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if 
not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well. So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the 
well. After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put 
the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled. The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the 
shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the 
mule became frightened. Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a 
shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would 
shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the 
well and through the crowd. That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step 
up. 
Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness 
or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong. Part of the difficulty comes 
from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior 
is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his 
misbehavior. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative 
emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future. 
Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to 
those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your 
circumstances. 
Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people 
towards whom you still have some bitterness. Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I 
happier holding on to it? Do I sleep better? Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?" if 
you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision. Actually decide to let it go. 
Walk away from the disappointment - which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Shake off and 
Step Up 

P.S This the best email forward I must have received in my life. Just what the doctor ordered for the day. Hope it helps you too in some way or the other

Officially Tagged!

I've been tagged by Wanda and I didn't want to turn it down. So here goes -

8 things I am looking forward to

1. The weekend, so I can spend the time doing nothing. (I've been wanting to do this all week)

2. Celebrating a small victory at work with friends

3. Getting hold of a good book and finishing it cover to cover before I show up for work next week

4. Watching movies which have been graciously given to me by a friend

5. Catching up with friends and family since they get so little of me all week

6. Sleeping late 

7. Cooking for family ( Did you notice the effort that goes into coming up with a list of 8??)

8. Some "Me time" so I can think over, sleep over and get over stuff

8 things I did yesterday

1. Worked

2. Played badminton with colleagues with balloons (Office was decorated for  

someone's arrival and as soon as His Holy self left, we pulled it all out)  

3. Chatted with a dear friend over things inconsequential (But it sure made me feel so good)

4. Got nostalgic over the days gone by and the time which will never come back

6. Listened to some great music on the way to work

7. Thanked God for this phase in my life with friends who care and work which doesn't feel like work.

8. Was grateful for friends with whom I could be myself and enjoy myself to the hilt. 

8 things I wish I could do 

1. See the world 

2. Learn classical Indian dancing

3. Learn singing

4. Write a book some day

5. Learn how to let go 

6. Have all the riches in the world to donate to the needy 

7. Work for the underprivileged and see them rise from rags to riches

8. Meet my soulmate! 

8 shows I watch on TV

Alright. Here it is. Accept it or puke. 

1. Mile Jab Hum Tum (Star One)

2. Dil Mil Gaye ( Star One)

3. Balika Vadhu (Colors)

4. Friends (Star  World)

5. Dekh by Dekh ( Used to come on Doordarshan and then on Sony Entertaintment Television)

6. Full House (Zee Cafe)

7. Mr Bean (Pogo)

8. Tom and Jerry, Tweety and Sylvestor and the Road Runner show (Cartoon Network)

So this was me like you've never seen before!

And I, hereby tag 

1. Still Thinking

2. Neema

3. Today's Writer

4. Sammy the Wizzy

5. Scattered Thoughts

6. SSQuo

7. Nups

If you just happened to land on this page, do tag yourself and let me know when you're done :-)  

Being me

  A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted   myself into a banana. Unfortunately,his taste changed after a few   

 months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became  an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions       

 of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know       

 who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.   

                                                                          

  Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there       

 is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You       

 need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own       

 estimate. Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let       

 go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you         

 will regret that you traded your greatest glory - your uniqueness,       

 for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many           

 people. The group that does not accept you as you is not your world.     

                                                                          

  There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king     

 / queen by just being yourself. Find that world... in fact, that         

 world will find you.                                                     

                                                                          

  What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold             

 cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity     

 of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has       

 been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose         

 that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone       

 can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You         

 are here to be you... just you.                                           

                                                                          

     There was a time in this world when a Gandhi was required

  and he was sent. There was a time in this world when a 

  J.R.D.Tata was required and he was sent.There came a time when you       

 were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the       

 best we can be. Don't miss yourself and let the world not miss you.       

                                                                          

 In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to     

the infinite of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence     

should have loved you so much that it broke the mold after making you,   

so that another of your kind will never get repeated. You are original.   

You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece...   

your Master's piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness. 

P.S Another email forward which I just had to preserve for eternity and share with whoever wants to read.

Mind body connection revisited

I am no authority on this really, so if you're looking for scientific facts, you probably haven't landed on the right page. These are just my views. ( Disagreements have a tendency to spook me, hence the disclaimer at the beginning)

Remember how the doctors in the old Hindi movies used to say that "We've done all that we could and now the only thing that can save him/her is prayers". And the patient's family would  fervently pray infront of some idol threatening it with statements like "I've never asked you for anything in life, but today I ask you to give him/her life. If you don't, I will cease believing in you". ( Remember the good old days!!) Cut to the present. All of that wasn't just jazz the doctors of yore used to give. Miracle healings happened even then, they happen even now. Something beyond the realms of conventional medicine worked wonders. Alternative healing therapies are a reality though some people choose to disbelieve it for want of tangible proof. Which is fine. You can't accept heresay blindly can you. 

There is a strong connection between the mind and our body which can be tapped through Holistic healing. Sometimes the problem isn't physical but etched deep in the patient's psyche. When you weed out the root of the issue, healing is bound to follow. If the patient has even an iota of faith in the healing process( which can either be conventional or otherwise), that little bit of faith will go a long way in ensuring a speedier recovery. Which is when they talk of the "Will to survive". If that does not exist, there is nothing that medicines can do.  

There are people who have achieved healing through hypnotherapy, chiropractice, acupuncture, naturopathy and Yoga when conventional medicine failed. When we tell ourselves something with utmost belief, our body is bound to listen. There is a strong play between our conscious and subconscious minds and something that seeps into the subconscious through the conscious is bound to  materialize. We've seen that happen to ourselves, without realizing it. When we were children and going to school or exams spooked us, we would suddenly begin to feel unwell and even throw up. When we are stressed even today, it upsets our sleep patterns and digestion. 

Stress is behind a host of maladies is common knowledge. 

The answer to everything isn't popping pills. There is a limit to what they can do. Which is why most doctors today advise meditation and yoga to calm the mind. When the mind is calm, everything about the body tends to fall in place. All problems seem manageable. Not many things seem insurmountable. Certain things can be taken care of at a superficial level. Others need you to go deeper. 

Eitherwhich way. The end justifies the mean to the end.If we don't care of ourselves, no one else will. Our life is literally in our own hands. We get to make the choices and we get to bear the consequences of our actions. Reminds me of something I always say "Don't compromise in your life if you have a choice"

Tips for a good life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play More Games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD ! heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

P.S Nothing that you don't already know, nothing that you haven't already read. Just an email forward I liked :-)

The Mind Body Connection

My Mom used to tell me that before sleeping, if you decide to wake up at a certain hour, you most definitely will. Without anyone having to wake you up. Without an alarm ringing on a table close by. I found it eerie because it always worked. There was a minute and second precision. A classic case of mind and body connection. When you feel good eerily enough you also look good. And when there is something bothering you, or eating you up from the inside, it just shows on your face and in your body language. 

Our thoughts have a direct implication on our bodies and what we experience in life. Have you ever noticed that when you're happy, you tend to eat well and sleep well and you are at your productive best. On the contrary when something turns you off and you give it a lot of time and mental attention, it tends to keep growing bigger and bigger until it feels bigger than your life itself. Needless to say one negative thought attracts another and it begins to take a toll on your body. So the way is from the inside out. 

This is not to reduce the importance of things that happen to us. Many of them are more than we can handle at the moment. But like they say, someone or something can hurt you if you allow them or it to. And that directly depends on how much of your mental time and attention you're willing to give to it. The more you nurture it, the bigger it grows. With time you begin to develop health issues which start with loss of appetite and sleep and graduate to bigger problems. You begin to see everything's that wrong with everything and everyone. You turn cynical and sour on life. Which isn't exactly the way to be.

I don't remember whether I read this line somewhere or it just came to me - "Don't go down the memory lane, for there you'll find a lot of pain". This obviously does not apply to the happy memories. Only for the sad ones. A change of thought is all that is required. And that can happen in split seconds. Thoughts ( like Rhonda Byrne says in 'The Secret') have a tendency to attract similar thoughts. You change one bad one and switch to something nice and you're set. And trust you me, it works. More often than not. 

Our bodies do so much for us. We must take some time to take care of them too. We can make a beginning by eating right, sleeping enough and thinking positive thoughts.Meditation is a life saver too. But it needs to be worked upon diligently.The more you try to calm the mind the more chaotic it will seem. But this is a battle between you vs yourself. Persist and it would show you remarkable results. 

If there is a lot of stuff that is wrong with this world, there is a lot of stuff that is right too. The only way to hold on to precious sanity would be to concentrate on the brighter side of life. Don't feel like preaching any more so would end it by saying what I always say- Keep the faith, hold on to happy thoughts and live life and not just stay alive.  

The World at large

Reams of newsprint is dedicated to it. Endless number of discussions center around it.But that is where it stops. Somehow, for some strange reason, nothing can be done about it. It might be a very pessimistic and defeatist way of looking at it, but the world is really going to the dogs. 

The other day I was in conversation with this middle aged lady who said and I quote "All that I want from life is to work peacefully, spend time with my family and then gradually die. I want to live and let live. But some people have made it their business to wreck havoc in other people's lives. I don't understand what joy it gives them to see someone unhappy. No one wants to be helping anyone these days. They simply don't have the time. I must have been sleeping when morals disappeared from our country. I don't know when this happened but it's not a very happy situation to be in".  Another gentleman told me that he makes sure he doesn't read the daily news, because it depresses him. 

Just what the heck is happening! Not just in this country but the world over! Here we are at the threshold of general elections and have advertisements screaming out to us asking us to cast our vote. A wonderful initiative. But when the choice is between one crook or the other, how do you choose? In- pin-safety pin? Or maybe check who's past is less tainted? Their promises are as hollow as their morals. Had they been real, this country would have been a lot more prosperous than what it is today. Had those promises been real, people wouldn't be dying of hunger. A vast majority wouldn't go jobless. The crime rate wouldn't have been so high. 

It truly is a dance of democracy. Someone tries to genuinely do some good, and there are ten others waiting to oppose his move. Some headless guy makes a controversial speech which the whole world pooh-poohs, but there is still a powerful man equally insane, who supports this good for nothing goon whole heartedly. I mean, have these people in power taken complete leave of their senses or what! What are they going to do with all the wealth anyways? How many pairs of shoes, or bundles of local currency will they manage to take with them when they die?  Which brings up another vital question. How do people live without their conscience? So many of them can't be confirmed psychopaths for sure. The truly educated people, who can actually make a difference are apprehensive about joining the fray. Kudos to ladies like Meera Sanyal who have the nerve to quit a perfectly wonderful job and think about entering politics. And a stark contrast are women politicians who are against growth in their state. Whose sole motive in life is to somehow become the Prime Minister of their country. And you'd think that women are sensitive  nurturers. 

Someone attacks are country and we rush to the West to help us out of the crisis. And the West clearly washes their hands off the matter. Because no one wants to play with fire. Despite knowing everything the West generously gives away millions and millions in aid to a country which is the breeding ground of terrorism. With an aim of keeping the terrorist activities confined to Asia, Afghanistan and Iraq. So much to keep yourself safe huh!

And then we have those uneducated morons who think that the world at large is conspiring against annihilating their community. So what do they do? They kill people in cold blood. They blow up buildings. They target innocents. They target the growing sectors. They bring everyone and everything to a grinding halt. And then stupidly enough take responsibility for the action. And they are still at large. Drone attacks or none. Recession or no recession. They are hiring. Lots of vacancies exist. Exasperating isn't it.

Why am I ruining your weekend this way really. When nothing else makes sense, why try and make sense of nonsense. Why not take a break from reality, bond with nature and people who understand us best. Watch the shows we abhor so much. Crib about the quality of shows they produce these days. And reminisce about the days of yore when the sole Television channel that this country could boast of churned out shows people of my age still remember. And still love to catch reruns of whenever they can. When there is no way out, there just might be an escape!