Suddenly Something

It’s madness-

To hate all roses because you got scratched by one thorn.
To give up all your dreams; because one didn’t come true.
To loose faith in prayers because one wasn’t answered.


To give up on your efforts because one of them failed.
To condemn all your friends because one of them betrayed.
Not to believe in love because someone was unfaithful.

Remember that another chance may come up.
A new friend, a new love, a new life.

Never give up on anything.

Simple words plainly put. But how many of us remember them in our moments of doubt? Life is not fair and it’s not expected to be so either. It’s just the way it is. It’s always been this way and will continue to be this way. If something can change it is us and our outlook towards it. Bad things happen to the best of us. There isn’t one individual who hasn’t seen sorrow in his or her life. At times the best of our efforts seem to go in vain and the people we care about the most turn their backs towards us. We are left wondering where we went wrong and how could we have bettered our best. It can definitely leave a bitter after taste and a scar for life. But then giving up isn’t life at all. If everything went on smoothly and nothing ever went wrong, how would we learn our lessons in humility in failure? Lessons of love in betrayal? Lessons on patience in perseverance? Life is one continuous exam and until we pass each lesson with full marks, it doesn’t let go of us and the same events continue to haunt us until we’ve learnt how to overcome them. The biggest of successes have failed innumerable times to be where they are today.

Adopting a negative approach to everything that didn’t go our way or fit into our scheme of things is effortless. You can avenge the people who wronged you and turn their negativity back at them. You can pull someone down to get one up on him or her. You can be as bad as them and even worse. Misery sure loves company. But at the end of the day do you sleep in peace? Conscience never dies. If we stoop down to the same level as our wrong doers, what remains the difference between them and us? We are not here to teach people lessons. You can lead a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink. Life teaches everyone everything they need to know when they need to know. Until realization dawns, nothing that someone says will make sense.

Cling onto hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. Everything starts with a desire. They aren’t wrong when they say that if your desire is strong enough, the entire universe conspires to materialize it for you. Life can be lived in two ways. As if everything is a miracle and as if nothing is a miracle. I choose the former. And then, “what can’t be solved with hope and a little sugar! “

Spiritual Evolution

These are excerpts taken from the Speaking Tree

Spiritual development and its evolution is a slow process. It goes through some distinct stages. And in each stage, the world appears different. How life appears to us depends on where we are placed.The way we look at things gives them their meaning.

The Age of Innocence is a stage when we believe that everything will be perfect. When you are a child, you take it for granted that everybody exists only to fulfil your needs, whims and fancies. A child takes it as a right that when he cries at night somebody will come and attend to the problem. Many adults have not outgrown this stage. They expect to be taken care of and loved. They are always expecting somebody to do something. The government should do this, the teachers should do that, the neighbours should be thus. Everybody should do everything so that they will live happy lives. When such persons come to spirituality, they have the same relationship with God. They look upon Him as some kind of Santa Claus whose primary function is to grant wishes.

The Age of Disillusionment is when we find out that life is not perfect and things are inherently flawed. The child grows up and faces the reality that he is not the centre of the universe and for the most part the universe doesn’t know he exists or is indifferent to his existence. This is the pain of adolescence. People in this stage say there is no God or there is no use believing in Him. They may become cynical or atheistic.

The Age of Responsibility is a stage when we start taking responsibility for our life. No more will others look after us. We will operate within the realm of cause and effect. We will get just rewards of our actions. Nobody is looking out for me and i must look out for myself says a person in the age of responsibility. He takes responsibility for his life. Many materialistic achievers fall in this category.

The Age of Keeperhood is when a person starts really growing spiritually. It dawns on him that he is ‘his brother’s keeper’. Far from the world being there to take care of him, he is there to take care of the world. Instead of wanting others to share his pain, he wishes to relieve the pain of others

The Age of Enlightenment extends far beyond that of ‘keeperhood’.It is the blessed state of Selfrealisation or moksha, the zenith of spiritual growth, the state of complete knowledge.

Keeping the spark alive

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune 23rd June, 2008

By Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.



One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You!

A day in my life

If I didn’t step out of the house in the next ten minutes, I’d be late. Very late. And in those ten minutes, I had to gulp down breakfast. I gave myself one last look in the mirror and rushed to the kitchen. Swallowed breakfast as fast as I could. Was washing it down with juice when I noticed I had spilled some on my shirt as well. “Aaaagh !! Why do things like this have to happen when I am so hard pressed for time!” I yelled at no one in particular. Perhaps I could dab it clean with a wet cloth, and the stain wouldn’t show. “And what if someone in the meeting notices and makes a nasty comment?” I rushed to change to something more presentable. Rushed out of the house sharp at 8:30. So far so good! The first thing my foot steps into is a whole lot of muck. “Can it get better than this? I guess not!” There is little I could do about nature’s fury. “Hate the rains. SO HATE the rains”. Got to the bus-stop glaring at my shoes gone dirty. My purse and umbrella in one hand and a carry bag in the other I waited for the 8:45 bus. “Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, and from now on it’s going to be a smooth ride” I reassured myself. The words had just escaped my mouth when this two wheeler rider, enjoying the time of his life drove by splashing muddy water everywhere including over my carry bag. I gave him such a filthy look and had he been in front of me, I would have planted a tight slap across his face. I was still staring at this devil of a guy who had gone by when it started to rain. And not a drizzle- a heavy downpour. “Hate the rains. SO HATE the rains”. I had to balance my belongings the umbrella and myself. Disgust was writ all over my face. Finally my bus came and I got on only to discover that it was full with not a seat empty. I clung to closest pole so that I could extract the necessary change. One brake and I bumped into the gentleman a hand’s distance from me. He glared at me as if I had stabbed him. I muttered an apology and went bag to digging my purse. “Can I help you?” “No thank you”. I smiled for the first time in the day at the source of the voice- A very cute looking guy. “Two tickets please. One for me and one for her” was the next thing I heard while I was still digging my purse for the exact change. I looked up momentarily and saw that the “her” meant me. “Please make yourself comfortable” said he offering me his seat. “No thank you so much. I’m alright, I do have the money, just couldn’t find exact change. Here it is”. I was embarrassed as hell at my clumsiness. “That’s alright ma’m. Today it’s on me. Please take a seat”. I was taken by surprise. Why on earth would someone do that! And I thought chivalry was dead! I thanked him profusely as is my wont and took a seat. After a few minutes the lady next to me, got up and left and this really cute gentleman took the seat next to me. We exchanged smiles. “Nice weather. Isn’t it?” I gave him one look, put on a smile and exclaimed that this is the best season ever. Hate the rains! Looked away. It was a very modest attempt at starting a conversation but I refused to take a hint. I was busy rehearsing my presentation. I didn’t want anything to go wrong at least in that department. “You seem tensed. Something important coming up for the day?” “No, just a presentation”. I smiled. He smiled even more as if talking to a good 30 people was a cakewalk. The impression it must have given him is that I was a good for nothing. Like I cared. That wasn’t enough to shut him up. He kept talking and I kept replying in monosyllables. ”Have a nice day ma’m and good luck with your presentation”. “You have a nice day too”. Phew! I got down the bus but the day had just begun. I had tensed myself silly and wanted to rush back home, bury myself under a blanket and sleep. What greeted me was the uber cool interiors of my office. The air conditioning was on full throttle, be it summers or winters. I still had half an hour before the day would formally begin and my dearest friend Neeta pulled me to the cafeteria. She hadn’t had her breakfast and wanted me around for company. “Here you are” and planted a coffee mug in front of me. “ Babes you really need something. Just look at you”. Had it not been for this motherly soul, office would not have been the same. ”Take it easy babes. Everything will go well. You’ve worked so hard for it”. Her reassurances calmed me down instantly. “Thanks a tone!”. I had just taken a sip when this guy I met in the bus came up with his own coffee mug and sat down beside us. “Hi can I join you?” “Ofcourse you can Karan. How are you doing?” Name: Karan. Occupation: Unknown. I kept staring at him wide eyed as if I had seen a ghost. ”Something wrong?” said he. “No” said me! “Have you met my friend?Babes meet my friend…” “We’ve met.” He explained. Neeta’s friend Karan. “You work here? ” I asked. “Apparently I do.” With a smile plastered over his face. The world is such a small place!

He turned out to be my friend’s cousin and now our team leader. Lovely! In your face 24* 7. “Don’t worry. I am not as bad as I look” as if reading my thoughts. I chuckled. The sun has peeped out of the clouds and it was a sunny day again.

The presentation went extremely well. I’ve never been better. “Babes you were so good! Here’s a chocolate for you”. I hugged Neeta real tight. I would be so lost without her around. I opened my eyes and there was Karan. In your face 24*7. “Congrats. You’ve managed to convince the client so well that they are thinking of giving us a good amount of their future projects and all the credit goes to you”. I had tears in my eyes (which threatened to uproot my lenses and smudge the eye make up). What’s difficult when you have such a strong support system called friends. Today the three of us are the best of friends and won’t hesitate to call each other up no matter what time of the night it is or how trivial the issue be. Because we know that even if the entire world turns its back towards us, we are there for each other”. The very feeling is so comforting. Oh God! I love the rains 

Life and my musings on it..

There's a very famous saying and I quote " Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the one's who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life then let it.. Nobody said it'd be easy.They just promised it'd be worth it".

If you've ever reflected on things and events gone by you will notice a pattern. Things indeed happen for a reason. There are no coincidences in life whatsoever. A lot of our questions are unanswered maybe because we aren't supposed to know the answers yet. But with time everything becomes clear and life puts together all the pieces. Patience is the key to a lot of things. But then again, how much patience is one supposed to have? How many tests is one supposed to give? How one must derive strength in times of despair?How is one to maintain their levels of optimism when everything seems to be falling apart?I so wish I had answers to these and more.

It's very easy to get into the rut of negative thinking and extremely difficult to get out of it because one begins to find comfort and happiness in misery as well. No amount of brooding over the past ever changed things and never will. Things cannot be undone. The least you can do is learn your lessons and be wise enough never to repeat the same mistakes. It's sad that life doesn't come with a customized manual, which is why you get knocked down often. But the key is to gather the pieces and get up again. When we fall down on a busy road, we get up immediately to avoid embarrassment, then why do we take so much time in getting over things that didn't go our way in life?

Children (at least the one's in my times, don't know about Children these days) had no worries whatsoever.They weren't worried about performing poorly in school. They didn't care a hoot about a bad hair day. What's they'd do in the future was the last thing on their mind. Which is why childhood is the most carefree and treasured time of one's life. As we step into adulthood, everything seems to bother us and weighs us down.We compare ourselves with everything that moves. The grass is green everywhere except in our little patch. We want everything that we don't have. Obviously what we have is worthless in our eyes. Now why is this again? Maybe because we live in a society and we must fit in somewhere with everyone because standing out of the crowd seems like a terrible idea.

You've really got to accept the things you can't change, have the courage to change the things you can and wisdom to know the difference.

And why am I preaching all this?I haven't written anything that the world doesn't already know. Why have I taken the pains to do this? Don't even ask!

Memories unlimited

This is to continue from where I last stopped.In my life, the biggest decisions have been taken in split seconds( So now I know that if something is taking unusually long, it's not meant to be!) My decision to take up Engineering in a city far away was one of those. I was way too excited about pursuing something that had brilliant job prospects.(Of course I now know what the truth is!! Hope floats- of a better tomorrow) Living life on my own terms was exhilarating. Things kept getting better with every passing year. I met so many wonderful people and a lot of old friends who taught me invaluable lessons. I treasure each of them without an exception today. The protective environment at home can never prepare you for the harsh realities of life. Hostel life inculcates in you the survival instinct. The feeling that if you don't take care of yourself, no one else will.

When we have something in our life, we don't value it. We see it's importance once it isn't with us anymore. I used to cringe every time I had to deal with a difficult situation or a person at the hostel not knowing that it would be situations like these which would shape the individual I am today.

I've had all kinds of room mates. I've had a problem with two kinds. Type One: Who need the fan at full speed even in winters(I'm the kind who develops a sore throat whenever it's a wee bit colder than what I'm comfortable with). Type Two: Who don't sleep when the whole world( read me) sleeps for whatever legitimate reason ,like talking away over the phone, or to a neighbor, or if nothing else put on the music because they have work to do( Awesome! I've always been so out of work).But very strangely, if I run into either of these kinds today, I will tell them how much I miss being with them(and that will be a direct dil- se!). And then after some searching I found type three. People who worked hard and partied harder.Intellectuals who knew how to have fun. We had the craziest times together. We did a lot of whacked out things like scaring away hopeless room-mates so they'd change their room( Gosh I don't believe we actually did that!), making a mouth watering dinner of egg dishes and sandwiches and having it with coke over a movie which had no story right till the last frame, going in for an extreme makeover (The girly things that transform you into a diva), listening to music (at full volume) till the wee hours of morning (and getting complaints from the neighbors asking us to behave ourselves and turn down the volume), trying to get a peek of the next door neighbor and speculating on his/her relationship status! and teasing people silly about the special someone they were discovered to be in conversation with. The list is indeed endless and memories unlimited...

To the person who wanted me to start this

I never thought I'd be writing my blog one day. The very idea of the world getting to know what's going on in my mind was enough to scare me and make me dump the proposition. But my dear friend and destiny had other plans! She apparently got an inkling to the literary genius in me and wanted the world to know what they are missing out on!(Did that become a tad too much...But we can't run away from the truth can we ;-) )

I am not sure if she'd be comfortable with me naming her, so let's skip the name for now. I met this legend in the making in my second year at the hostel. The time I spent with her was magical. She taught me so much in such little time. She has a HUGE hand in transforming me into the person I am today. Some people , just by being what they are, inspire you to do things you never thought yourself capable of doing. She is one such person. Words are insufficient to express her contribution in my life.

I was such a reserved and locked in my shell kind of an individual. I would not as much as open my mouth if it could be avoided. Not so anymore! I look back upon my days at the hostel very fondly. It was one of the best times of my life. Living on your own teaches you a lot. Doing everything independently and making my own decisions gave me an all time high. But it would not have been the same had it not been for the people I met there. Staying up late and talking away about nothing consequential, discussing our latest crushes, watching pirated movies, finishing pending college work, doing up someone's room on birthdays, zooming away to eat outside because the food in the hostel that day wasn't appealing,expressing disgust that there weren't any good looking hunks in the vicinity.Even the memories of the days gone by are enough to brighten my day. It might sound like trivia to you,but trust me..You had to be there in the midst of it all to know what I am talking about.

I shall elaborate on all of this in the days to come. Do watch this space for more(Alright, I ain't a celebrity that you ought to pay your due respects by visiting this page every now and then, but what the heck! You can at least do this much for humanity!)