And here I am

It has been so very long since I last posted. And the reasons for not being so regular haven't been very different either. I was graciously given 2 leaves in addition to my weekly offs, so it's been the 3rd day today when I haven't reported to work (Gee :D). I have slept for 12 hours straight (maybe more, I am not sure). My family would come in to see me, talk to me (get appropriate responses )and go away and I lapsed back into a deep sleep. I've answered 3-4 calls in my sleep, and NOTHING would wake me up! But a message from the manager is different. I instantly woke up! (I had applied for another position in the same company and they want to conduct the test for me tomorrow)

I feel so refreshed!! The weather is SO pleasant. Neither too hot, neither too cold. Just pleasant. The beginning of spring I think. Stirs in me so many happy feelings of my childhood days :-) My sister first extended her stay by two weeks initially and now a month! Oh God is so kind for having answered my prayers. We've shopped and talked till I literally dropped!

I haven't been writing for so long, it seems I've forgotten how to write.(I never had anything to write about anyways) Whenever I've left a comment on your posts in the recent past and read back, there are glaring grammatical mistakes. Forgive me for that. I've still not woken up I think!

I started blogging in July 2008. I was egged on by a dear friend. Just to show her appreciation, she would read each and every post and leave a comment. I would write for her. Then somewhere down the line, she got busy with work and I wrote just to express myself and vent. I would log in multiple times to see if someone has left a comment or as much as visited me. And then one of by each of you trickled in.  I would jump up and down to see the number of visits go up and see a new visitor from far away lands. I am so proud to be friends with you and my dad always asks how each of you are doing :-) And you don't read for the sake of reading. You actually read. I feel so happy getting to your blogs and reconnecting with you. Through your pictures and your words. Life hasn't been easy. It isn't supposed to be so either. But each of you has made it so much easier for me. By patiently listening to me. I know I must have said this in several posts earlier. I've a penchant for being repetitive. I choose the same types of clothes, same color of nail paint, the same kind of earrings, shoes,  pictures. The works!

I don't have a lot to say right now and at times I wonder how you guys don't get bored of my writings! Here's a heartfelt  Thank you for just being there! And I shall be back soon :)

Serious Sleep Deprivation!

For someone who is used to sleeping 9-10 hours straight, at about 4-5 hours from the time I hit the bed, I'm just getting done with starters. I haven't gone to main course in this entire week! The last time I ate 3 meals in a day was the last to last week. Am I beginning to sound like a poor lil hungry kid, looking for donations? Oh Jeez! It does to me atleast! I do make enough (Just got myself a pair of jeans I don't need- Does that count as bragging? Sorry!), but I don't find the time to spend it! Am I working hard? Hardly. Infact I am forcing myself to work these days. If my organization were to come up with a  "The Most Disinterested Employee of the Month" award, I'd be the winner! If I say I loathe work, I'd be putting it mildly. Yes I am looking for something better, and as and when the world snaps out of recession and my stars begin to look up and the Gods above take pity and smile on me, I shall get another job.

If you must know, the environment isn't very conducive to happiness, when a manager and a Tech Lead who ace at screwing other's happiness are at the helm of affairs. Yawn. No bad experiences for me yet (yeah yet) but it disgusts me to see others getting treated like dirt slaves.

It's another of those days when I want to run away to the hills ( Surprising I only find the weekends to do that)
But I did have my share of great moments. Those hours when I ate. The time when I slept. The times I shopped with my sister, and the fabulous beyond description book I read- 2 states by Chetan Bhagat. Oh my I identified so much with it, I can give the writer a peck on the cheek in full public view. It's almost autobiographical and describes the great Indian caste divide, inter-community and arranged marriages and how love conquers all. Don't go by my description. It sucks. But do read if the first few pages appeal to you.

Coming back to blogger feels like reconnecting to sanity. No one talks, but everyone listens. A silent conversation. Wow!( What a line!) It is good to know how everyone is faring, and delicious to see people write so positively that you feel like discarding your negative thoughts with the next breath you take!

Just read my own post title and have an urge to elaborate. The past week has seen me sleep with my mouth open on my way home. I barely get to the door and am out like a light. I am sure I will sleep for a long period that day. Within 5 hours I am up with a head that hurts. I have tried everything to put myself back to sleep, but it's not difficult to guess it failed. Herbal tea, eating to capacity, tiring myself out. The works. And the one day that I was feeling sleepy beyond 5 hours (today= weekend), I have to wake up for an appointment with the doctor. Screw the world. All I need is sleep. And good food. Make that with cheese please. And spicier the better. Thank you!

HORSE SENSE

It can always be done

Seek and you will find

LATA JAGTIANI 

    Aman invited Mulla Nasruddin to go hunting with him, but gave him a slow horse and kept the fast one for himself. He sped away and Nasruddin lagged behind. Soon it began to rain and the Mulla was alone. He took off all his clothes and then he sat down on the pile of clothing. Once the rain stopped, he wore the clothes again and reached his host’s house for lunch. The host could not understand how he was wet while the Mulla was dry and asked him how this happened. Nasruddin answered, “It’s because of the horse you gave me.” The next day, the host gave the Mulla his fast horse and kept the slow one for himself. When it began raining, Nasruddin did the same thing and when the 

host met him, he was furious, because he was wet again and the Mulla was dry. He shouted, “It’s all your fault. I got wet because you made me ride that terrible horse!” 

    So, often we are inclined to find fault with our workplace, our colleagues, friends, family and clients when the fault may in fact be with us. It may be that we have done nothing to look for the best solution for a certain problem. Instead, we might be preoccupied in blaming others for our own inability to make use of what is called ‘horse sense’. 

    As the saying goes, ‘It’s not the horse that counts, it’s the rider’. The rider makes a huge difference. There are plenty of rags-to-riches stories. However, most of these point to the fact that every time specific, but inevitable, challenges arise — and they always do — the rider, perhaps like a poor but enterprising man, comes up with innovative ways to overcome these challenges. There are those who, at the very hint of a challenge, might have thrown in the towel or changed tracks, fretted and fumed. But the man who chooses to handle his problems the way Mulla Nasruddin did — who found a way to remain dry even when faced with a downpour — always emerges triumphant, whether he rides a slow horse or a fast one. That is, regardless of whether he has the means or tools to surmount problems, and whether or not his circumstances are conducive or unfriendly, he does manage to find a way. 

    Often, we are so obsessed with our problems that we forget to look for ways to solve them. Anthony de Mello recounted the story of a man who had lived for many years with a sage and felt that he had gained no real wisdom during his time of tapasya. He asked the sage why he had failed to grasp the sage’s wisdom. The sage replied, “When I point to the moon, you don’t look at it; you keep staring at my finger. I am only the finger pointing to the moon, you cannot achieve realisation by looking at me or my finger!” Being distracted, looking at other issues, agonising over the past, regretting your actions or lamenting your destiny can lead to no progress; the only way forward is to take what you have at your disposal and do your best with it — without seeking out the ‘villains’ who put you in that hapless state. Whether the horse is slow or fast, the rider who weathers the storm has to be a Nasruddin. For that, you need to think out of the box and act swiftly

(Taken from Times of India Crest Edition)