Happy New Year 2010

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice

Season's Greetings

It's that time of the year again. When the Bonhomie, the gaiety and the festive spirit are so infectious. No matter how down in the dumps you are, it is so difficult to withhold a small smile when you see everyone around you so happy! Happiness is so contagious. (Which reminds me of Some bring happiness where ever they go, and some bring happiness whenever they go :-D ;-) )

8 more days and 2009 comes to an end. Another year goes by and another comes along with so many promises, so many hopes, many more aspirations. This will be the first the first Christmas, the first New Year's eve,  and the first New Year when I'd be working. I'd miss the firecrackers that go up as the clock strikes twelve. I'd even miss the calls where my friends compete with each other to be the first ones to wish me a Happy New Year. But there will be many more such occasions. No fret, just a little bit of sweat :-)

Time flew by so quickly. Just a few months back it was February and a brand new beginning for me, which set right a whole lot of wrongs. Things went from good to better. Lots of hiccups and a few bouts of indigestion, but overall I'd say the ups overshadowed the downs and made it a fantastic year.

It's been the second year of knowing each of you. The journey with all of you through all your highs and lows (mine included) was a rich learning experience. I am extremely grateful to each of you for having given this space some of your time and leaving behind the invaluable nuggets of wisdom. Guiding me on every step of the way. Laughing with me and giving me a shoulder to cry on when I wept. The good Lord knows how thankful I am for all of my friends and that invariably includes you.

This year hasn't been smooth sailing for some of us. Life isn't a bed of roses for anyone really. For those of us who aren't really bubbling with enthusiasm at the moment and feeling over the top and great, I'd earnestly hope and pray God give us the serenity and bless us with His grace and make the going a wee bit easier. Things don't remain the same for long. Today is pitch darkness, tomorrow will be bright sunlight and warmth again. But never let go of the positivity through your darkest hour. As someone rightly said "When you've hit rock bottom, the only way out is up". You can't get any lower than that.

We err because we are humans. So don't beat yourself up for the mistakes you made. Learn your lessons and let go. Even if you don't see hope, strain your neck to see that faint gleam of sunrays streaming thorough your window. It is staring you in the face, waiting patiently for you to pay heed. Life isn't cruel. Just hang in there and keep the faith intact

I wish each of you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a blessed New Year

Just thinking....

Not like I don't know this. Not like this brilliant thought occurred to me for the first time. But it does not strike me when I need it the most! I've been complaining here for as long as I can remember. From my tooth, to my job, to my life. I doubt I've spared anything or anyone! But all my "problems" seem so very trivial when I look at the problems others that I know and don't know face on a daily basis. I have a very blessed life in comparison.

The book that I was referring to (The Road Less Traveled) started by saying

 "Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

Whoever said it's going to be easy. We're all in it together. It is so comforting when people reach out to you, and at times go out of their way to make it easier for you. The hope that one day everything will be ok is so crucial for existence. That one day, everything will work out for good. Whether it does, or it doesn't, remains to be seen. But whatever happens, you end up accepting whatever is dealt to you and move ahead. Living is moving on. And not stagnating. It's accepting the change and not resisting it with all your might. (As you can see the book has majorly rubbed off on me, hence the unsolicited gyan(knowledge))

This moment is all that we have. We don't know if the future will turn out the way we want it to. We don't know whether the people who are so important to us today will be with us tomorrow. Do I sense an element of worry here? A wee bit yes. If I could I'd freeze this time for eternity. I don't wish to let even a single drop of unadulterated happiness slip away. I also know it's not possible :-) God has been more than kind in the past few days. Everything that has been happening off late strengthens my belief that if you ask Him with a pure heart and your asking will do you good, He never denies you. And no, you don't have to nag him. He listens :-)

I read somewhere that coincidences and chance happenings reveal the will of God. Someday I will elaborate on it and tell you why I believe this so :-)

I think the mini vacation did me a world of good. A week of doing nothing! Coming home felt so good. To a place you call your own. To a place that you missed sorely. To people who love you dearly. 

To all those you love, don't waste time keeping your thoughts in your head. Tell them so. You can't be sure they'd be with you for life. I wish they would. But why take a chance and die with regrets.

I am sure I've inundated you with stuff you knew, but that's me! For everyone who prayed that my happiness bubble doesn't burst, here's a heartfelt Thank you! Loads of love, happiness and peace to each of you

Stillness returns...

If any of you have been wondering if I am still alive,here's to let you know that I am and I returned from my exile just yesterday. I thought I'd write yesterday, but didn't feel up to it. So here I am today.

Vacation was good, just as I wanted it. But it was waaaaay too cold for comfort! Hmm.  No amount of wollens would keep the chill at bay. There comes a time when a hand has to come out of the sweater/blanket to maybe turn the page of a book, and there it gets cold again. Let's just say that it doesn't get as cold where I stay, so I am not particularly used to or fond of the chill. But it was good! Very very good indeed :-)

I picked up a book I've long been thinking of picking up to read on the way. It's called The Road Less Traveled- Scott Peck. It was an eye opener! A revelation of sorts. I think every would be parent must read it at least once. Then again, it's just my opinion. I'm a sucker for that genre and it might leave you cold. That's alright.

As my vacations draws to an end work beckons again. My company didn't let me go and wants me back from the 16th as a permanent employee. So there I shall be, learning a whole lot of new stuff until my destiny takes me elsewhere to greener pastures!

I am still in the vacation mode, so pardon the short write up. I shall return with something longer and hopefully meaningful soon :-)

Back again...before I go out (again)

It seems like an age has gone by since I last wrote .Really wrote (There's a difference between writing and ranting. Hmm).

Conclusion of the week (and applies to me and me alone, so no extra gyan please):
Making plans is useless. Baseless. And... tasteless. I've made zillions of them, and seen them fall flat in the face. No I am not complaining. His plans have always proved to be better than mine. But look at the amount of energy and time it took! I could have slept more, eaten more, worried less and would have had more hair on my head today. Well...

I wanted to quit, and almost did that. And yet again, my zillionth and one plan failed. My company does not want to relieve me of my services. They "say" they'd give me everything that I want in return (money, leaves, the works!) What happens next, remains to be seen.

I'm on a 15 day leave (or so I think, until an official notification from my company arrives in the form of a telephone call) And I am going on a mini vacation for a week. I won't have a computer where I go ( so without a computer ,internet connectivity wouldn't make a lot of sense) hence no posts till my return.

The past week (or whenever I posted last) flew by and I was but a bystander. So much transpired in both my personal and professional life. Heady highs and deadly lows. Suffice is to say, all's well now (or so it seems) (Silence before the storm? Who knows...who cares..)

Living a movie or a soap opera every minute of your life is by no means fun you know! Whatever will be, will be...the future's not ours to see...Que Sera, Sera :-) (Again something I learnt when I was so tiny!) Now why are children taught things they don't even understand, and won't comprehend, until they're bigger. Hmm...

Shall have more to write and lots more to talk about when I return. Till then, whoever's reading me: Fare you well and may God grant you peace and unadulterated happiness. Adieu for now

Some gyan

Reality depends on what you are willing to imagine and allow


A note to everyone:


It's difficult for me to be sad for long. I'm good again, smiling and looking forward with a lot of hope :-)

A little bit of ho hum...

Have you ever felt like running away to far off place, up in the mountains (or a valley below), where no one can find you, and you can't find anyone. Where you don't know anyone, and no one knows you. Where you don't care about anyone, and no one cares about you? If wishes were horses, I'd own a stable!

Life. Chaos is thy name. With a few moments in between when it lets you breathe and makes you feel all is well. Some fleeting moments that! Within a blink of the eye, things have gone ahead, taking you along with them, catching you unawares. Such is the state of affairs here. 

As much as you try, it's difficult to change the memories of the time gone by. Years may pass by, but they will remain the same. Your perspective might change, and that might change the person you are, but they remain. The whole series of what-ifs and why's. Of why did and why didn'ts. 

Some life experiences make you a better human being, and some make you bitter. Can you blame anyone else for it but yourself? 

Someone somewhere will always gets hurt by our actions. Whether we like it or we don't. Whether we intend it or we don't. Consciously or unconsciously we'd cause someone great grief. Sometimes, life doesn't give us any choices. Causing great anxiety and greater sorrow. How much sadness we've caused someone, or will cause someone, we will know one day. That will be the day we learn the lessons we didn't learn while we were supposed to. To perfect ourselves, we'll be granted another chance. Another lifetime. We know what's happening isn't right. But sometimes, it's just beyond us to change anything. We can't even refuse to be a part of it. Such is the dilemma. Such is the vicious circle. Such is life!

One day life will prove to us that what happened was for our own good. There wasn't another way. It will show us the signs. The hand of God. 

No matter how carefully you tread, you are bound to err. While we walk we trample so much that we see, and so much that we don't. 

The only hope is that our creator up above,watches us every second and realizes that we didn't do whatever we did with ill intentions. That our hearts were pure and only wanted good. For ourselves, the one's who lives we touch and one's whose lives we'll change forever.

Truly Madly Deeply

Exasperating! Thirteen hours of work with useless meetings thrown in for effect is seriously not my idea of fun. Everybody breathing down my neck is just making it worse. A rough estimate of the time I spend at home awake boils down to 2 hours, within which I must get ready and leave. What the hell ! (tears apart the little hair that remain). I know there are people who work for 14-16 hours a day and I royally salute them. Just that I don't feel I am up to it, hence I've decided to quit. I've no clue what I'm doing next, but what I am sure of is I'm not doing this anymore! I have had it up till here! I am not sure if it's my time to slow down and smell the roses yet , but I'd sure like some time to breathe. 

Which brings me to your next question. Why do I complain so much? Well, because at the moment, I don't have anything better to do! No actually I do. Just thought I'd update everyone! 

There was a phase when I had absolutely nothing to do, and there is now a phase when I don't have the time to do anything. Which out of the two is better, I don't know. Been there, done that, despise the former, loathe the latter. (Pssst. Dear God if you're listening, please give me a decent 9-5 job which I truly deserve. One that I'd look forward to every time I wake up in the morning!)

Sure you don't come here for weather updates, but since you are here, I might as well tell you, that these days it's been pouring like there is no tomorrow! The windows of my room rattle like they'd break any moment and I dig deeper into my quilt and then lousily and reluctantly get out of bed to go to work. Sigh!!

I have no clue what's happening to the world so today is the day I catch up. I've yet to get to each of your blogs, but I hope each of you is in the pink of health and has had a fantastic week so far! God bless you all and give you what you deserve!

The week that was

Alright! Here I am (again) to do what I think I do best (rant). I've been observing a pattern here(Data Mining in Computer jargon). I write a post and am gone. Comments trickle in and I reply when I find an elusive parameter- Time. I am not sure if any of you come back and read the replies, but for those of you who do, I reply! I swear I do( Baah! Like anyone cares. Ok why am I being so sarcastic! Pause)

I don't run a country, nor do I head a company. Yet I'd like to think I've little time for myself to do the things I like to do and could do with a few more hours per day (Long line huh). I am sure you understand my absence, but I thought I might as well say it, than leave it unsaid.

The week still whizzes by and I savagely and hungrily look forward to my two holidays per week.

Over educated and underemployed was always me. But now things have taken a new definition. It's overworked and underpaid (© Tranquility Speaks). You don't give me work, I complain. You give me work to do (God save you!), I'd complain some more. Everyone in the vicinity has been getting those complaining and angry sound bytes from me off late, so I thought, why must I spare you! (I believe in equality. You're welcome!)

When the month begins, when the week goes by. When the dawn breaks, when the night comes by. I have no idea. I know not who I am. I know not where I am heading. I seriously know not what I want. (Poor Tranquility is losing it. Tch. Old age. What can I say)

Things have gone awfully wrong in the recent past, but you'd be happy to know that your dear Stillness withstood it all through lots of tears (and the nose that starts flowing when she cries) and incoherent speeches over the phone to her 3:00 A.M friends. Then one day she remembered again to pray and take charge of her happiness. And things immediately took a turn for the better. And she is still living peacefully.

People eat to live. I live to eat. And sleep. Strictly in that order these days. That is all that I care about except holidays when I get to watch Tom and Jerry, music videos and soap operas on TV. The work pressure these days is tremendous and tempers fly thick and fast. Everyone is facing the heat and are letting it out on everyone else. What do people do? Some leave the job, and others rush to the loo! ( Breaking down in public doesn't look cool !

Watching TV never felt this good. Trust you me. I read somewhere that to be healthy, you must indulge in things that make you happy. To some it could be reading, to others, listening to music, or to others doing yoga. All work and no play makes Jack ( And Jill) a dull boy (and girl- No gender biases in my world!) Ironical that they taught me this when I used to be busy playing with my doll all day and didn't know what working meant. Gladly I haven't forgotten the saying with age.

During the course of this week I read this. It had a DEEP impact on me. Here goes:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, 

Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit 

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, 

Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it. 

The Rubaiyat -  Omar Khayyam

Made me think that the people who have lived before us, have had the same problems as us. Yet they realized and concluded some things, we are just beginning to understand. The generations that come after us will begin their life afresh. They will start from scratch. They will make their own beginnings and define their own endings. Somewhere in the middle they will realize, what their ancestors already knew . They will rediscover the legacy those who lived before them left behind. Every day creating their own history.
And yet we seem unable to deal with it all. Yet we lose precious time whining over the inconsequential. Maybe it won't matter 10 years from now. Just maybe it will. Every second choosing the life to come. Moving closer to our destiny every second. Do we create our own destiny in the here and now, or have we created it in a time before this, I shall never know.

But till I make an appearance again, here's wishing each of you a blessed and peaceful week. No matter how rushed life is, take the time to smell the roses and never leave home without your sense of humor (Something that I remember on my way to work each day :-) )

Worth considering

The 90/10 Principle

Author : Stephen Covey ( Management Guru)

Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life

(at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your

daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for

knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave

immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and

throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your

spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush

upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both

ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)

Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

 P.S No harm in trying right?

There's something in the air

Has this ever happened to you? When despite everything that's not right in your world, you are still very happy. From the heart. Something acts as a catalyst and everything seems fine again. Even if it isn't so. Maybe a small piece of good news in someone else's life. Maybe a child's smile aimed at you. Maybe the feel good weather. Maybe renewed hope. Maybe a good night's sleep. Maybe a great meal after days of not eating right. Maybe a great cheerful friend. Anything. Everything!

You just feel more equipped to deal with anything that comes your way. Like the universe wanted you to quit being unhappy . Like it was waiting to happen. Waiting for you to sit up and take notice of happiness knocking on the door?

I don't know why but it makes me believe in the saying by Paulo Coehlo all the more

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it"


Circumstances always test our patience, grit, determination and faith. Pass that test and you can fall apart later! All that you have to do is ask honestly and you shall get it. Life has proved this to me every single time!

The weather is just unbelievably good these days. The wind chime at my window continues to chimes as I write this. I absolutely love this time of the year, when it is neither too not, nor too Cold. Windy yet not chilly. Sunny yet not hot.

Life these days is busy but throw in a two day off and I am all for it!

You're right. This sure is bereft of substance, but I just had to put down the feel good feeling in words :-)

In Random Order

I've been away for a long time now, and so much changed since. Someone fell ill, someone just got better, someone is expecting a baby, someone just got promoted and  someone else looks forward with a lot of hope. The world whizzes past while you are stuck up with something that is humongous to you and shows no signs of coming to a standstill. Life these days is anything but relaxed.Frenzied would be putting it mildly.  After ages I have a two day off. If there is a something beyond breathless I am there! Everything is moving with such a fast pace that it gets me dizzy! Which is why someone very bright came up with the saying eons ago "Slow down and take the time to smell the flowers". I'd like to do more. Go on a vacation for the rest of my life!

Feel my breath taken away by a sight like this

Ladakh

Or catch a sunrise in the Himalayan Range in Nepal

Or spend time with myself at the Takstan Monastery in Tibet

Or experience spirituality in a place like this

Or go on a pilgrimage to Kedarnath

Get married

And Experience motherhood. So much to do, and only two days! Tch..

You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there.

P.S I admit that this post was very me-centric. The aim was just to convey that I am still alive and very much here. In between sleeping for 11 hours straight and eating the rest of the time, I may not be able to visit you. The absence sure is regretted.

HAPPY DIWALI

Unforgotten Memories ..

The memories still haunt like it happened yesterday.. 

The wounds still run deep..

You can always run ..

But there is no hiding from the memories..

They catch up with you, when you least want them to..

There is no stopping the tears..

There is a limit to how much you can hold inside..

They can't be blamed..

What happened long ago, must be promptly forgotten..

Why then does it become so difficult to forget what you'd least like to remember?

They say that everything happens for a reason..

But the reason is still unknown..

Was it really for the greater good?

To err is human..

But there is no justification to something done in a fit of rage..

Words do more damage than physical injuries..

The scars remain forever..

Deeply embedded in the psyche..

It's said that anger turned inwards translates to guilt..

Guilt held for longer than it should..translates to a lifetime of misery..

Is there any redemption?

There surely must be..

For He never does anything without a reason..

If this is a life we've chosen..

We must also possess the power to change the course..

If only He'd make his presence felt..


P.S: I've been away from the blogging scene for QUITE some time now..and this is ..uhmm..withdrawal symptoms!!

You become fearless when you lose that which you value the most

Vinita Dawra Nangia 
TIMES NEWS NETWORK 

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. 
    — Mahatma Gandhi 
    WE are often warned not to push anyone into a corner because that is when they fight their best and most vicious battles. A good hunter will never force a wild animal in a situation from where it perceives no escape; the animal must feel there is still some escape route. Because it is when the animal loses hope of escape, that it will fight at its wildest and cause the worse harm. A cornered creature, man or animal, is dangerous, even vicious. For, that is the point at which one loses all fear. You become fearless when you lose that which you value the most. Because, when that happens, the rest doesn’t really seem to matter as much. And, you also realise the futility of having lived in fear of losing something that is now beyond reach. 
    You understand that you could possibly have been able to enjoy the finer intricacies of your object of desire much more if you hadn't lived in constant fear of losing it. When you lose it, you see the futility of all the anxiety, the heartburn over it. You start looking for and finding ways of living without it. And the human mind and spirit, amazingly resilient as they are, discover reasons and conviction for why you are better off without that which is now lost. 
    And that is the point at which you start enjoying the positive aspects of fearlessness. For, when you fear nothing, nobody can manipulate you anymore. You would be your own person and not dependent on anyone for your happiness or peace of mind. Your best bouts of courage are reserved for times when you have nothing to lose. 
    In ancient warfare, commanders would often burn the boats their army arrived in order to obliterate any threat of their soldiers turning tail and escaping. With their only means of retreat cut off, the only way to safety for the soldiers was to fight till victory, or they would be literally fighting till death. That’s how the phrase ‘burning one’s boats’ or ‘burning one’s bridges’ originated. 
    Most manipulations in relationships occur because we hand over the weapon of our fear to be used against us to those we love most. A lover is able to manipulate his beloved’s emotions by threatening withdrawal of love and care. He will sulk, not talk or withdraw caring gestures — all the things that a loved one values. So you give in, bow to the will of the lover, and make compromises, all for fear of losing that which is cherished. 
    On the other hand, if the lover overplays his hand and carries on the withdrawal act beyond a point, the beloved may finally get used to the idea of rejection and taking the loss as a fait accompli, lose all fear in the relationship. 
    Fear of losing leaves you impotent not just in relationships but also in everyday situations such as your work life, with friends or relatives and even with strangers. It extends beyond material things to prestige, respect, happiness, peace of mind, etc. 
    At work, how often we let people get away with delivering shoddy work, doing an injustice to someone or cheating us just because we fear losing our peace of mind over an altercation! We allow incompetent people to underperform for fear of creating a situation and so losing our calm. 
    In financial situations, fear of loss makes us lose money! In the ’60s, reportedly a couple who invested big time in a single stock, PepsiCo, saw a major portion of their money vanish as the market took a downslide. This scared them so much that they not just dumped Pepsi, but never bought a single share after that. If they had only overcome that fear of loss, the same portion in PepsiCo would have been worth $3 million by now! 
    F o r courage is not just required for doing battle, but also for maintaining a sense of calm, for making money, for living a good life — in short for everything. The ‘fight or flight’ syndrome kicks in irrespective of the fact whether the thing we fear losing is physical, mental or a financial threat. 
    Those who can learn the trick of transcending this fear of loss, would find the courage to enjoy that which they love most while they still retain it. Says Jiddu Krishnamurty, “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” 
    Think of the worst that can possibly happen. Get used to the idea and accept it. From there on, things can only get better… and you can acquire courage even as you retain the object you feared losing, for you fear that no more. You know loss is a possibility and you are moving ahead with that in mind. 
    Says Dale Carnegie, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” 

P.S  Agree with this hands down! No arguments here!

You'd think...

Whether you like it, or you don't, people will let you down. Your euphoric highs and depressing lows won't mean anything to them.  It comes as a shock when you expect that they will react the way you think they should, since they know you, maybe are related to you, but they don't. The coldness feels icy.

Having no expectations from people is easier said than implemented. But what you can train yourself to do is pick up the tell tale signs that something is changing, and not overlook or ignore them. To brush them aside is setting yourself up for  the upcoming hurt. It's choosing to stay blindfolded and pretend that all's well. When it isn't. People change, circumstances change. They get busy, they get disinterested. If this is the way it turns out, was the relationship that shallow to begin with? Maybe yes. I would actually say yes. To be honest, when someone means something to you, you can ALWAYS find time even though you are insanely busy. You are always a part of their sadness and happiness. And aren't thought of when there isn't anyone else who'd hear them out. No one is bad here. Time changes situations, needs and people. To graciously accept those changes requires a lot.

Some people have no substitute, but if someone proves to you, that you are substitutable (if there is a word like that), then it's just not worth it.Not worth your time or the effort. Two quotes come to my mind : One  "Never advertise your sorrows, there's no market for them" and Two " Always tell your problems to 1% of people who really love you. 49 % are not interested and 50% are happy that you have a problem".

P.S As an after thought. I didn't intend this to be so drab and boring. So here is something that is Oh-So-Cute (Do click these words) If you like dogs cleaning your screen that is :-)

THE SPEAKING TREE

The Invisible Piper’s Mysterious Tune

Homayun Taba 

    There are so many things about us we cannot do much about, right from our DNA structure, to who our parents are, the place of our birth, and the length of our lives. We refer to these, as ‘givens’ and the actual list can be very long. Albert Einstein, putting on his philosopher’s hat, goes a step further, saying that everything is determined by forces over which we have no control, and that we all dance to ‘a mysterious tune intoned in the distance by an invisible piper’. 
    Against this list sits another one, where the items listed out are those over which we do have influence and things on which we can have an impact. Depending on our energy, willingness and level of risk-taking, we are able to generate a whole lot of transformations within ourselves and in the environment around us. 
    One of those prayers found everywhere in stores and curio shops, practically upon every sort of material from glass, to cloth, to wood, is the one that asks the Almighty to grant us serenity to accept the unchangeable and courage to change the changeable. Up to here it has enough insight contained in it. But the crucial few words kept for the third line are ‘…and wisdom to know the difference’. 
    There are many situations in life in which we fail to exercise this discerning wisdom, from our careers, marriages, dealing with our neighbours, or simply in our setting priorities. 
    While changing the material world and one’s financial status are not impossible things to do, it takes a lifetime and many setbacks and knocks to realise that we cannot change others, and that we could have reserved a substantial amount of energy and resources if we had exercised the serenity to accept this. 
    Sufi master Bayazid Bistami offers some insight on this. When he was young he was a revolutionary, and all his prayers to God were to ask for energy to change the world. Approaching middle age, he realised that half his life had gone by without his truly changing a single soul. So he changed his prayer, now asking for power to change those he came in contact with – just family and close friends, and he would be content. 
    Then comes this wisdom-statement: “Now that i am an old man and my days are numbered, my one prayer is, ‘Lord, give me the grace to change myself’. If i had prayed for this right from the start i would not have wasted so much of my life.” 
So the first prayer is about serenity, courage and wisdom and the second one is about energy, power and grace. And this is interesting because there is a vital link here between wisdom and grace. In one sense a true prayer is about asking God to grant us grace and by that, or in the light of it, we may acquire wisdom. 
Wisdom is not always about knowing what to do, but more importantly, understanding about what not to do. Sometimes simply listening, not rushing to help or to interfere can be enormously wise. 
    We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking to realise that in life a lot depends on the willingness to face all that happens to us, and at the same time on learning the limits and extent to which we can overcome, and also what we must learn to make peace with. 
    Life is about choice. But to choose well, Kofi Annan says: “…you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.”






P.S This piece appeared in yesterday's Times Of India. I loved their in depth analysis and couldn't agree more!

Thought for the day

It's good to have money and the things money can buy, but it's good to check every once in a while, and make sure that you haven't lost the things money can't buy

DAILY DIARIES

It happened. Yet again. Alarm is supposed to go off at 8:15. It does. I hit the snooze button (or so I think I do) and decide to wake up 15 minutes later. I do. Time check 9:15. 15 minutes to pack lunch and get ready. A maniac on the loose- ME. 

In all these years of my existence, never have I gone from out of bed to out of house in half an hour. Today I did.

I don't want my company to give me a wake up call tomorrow, so I shall go to bed now. 

I haven't been reading your blogs these days. I am guilty. Come weekend, and I shall comment on everything that you write about all week. I promise. Have a happy week everyone :-)

THOUGHT FOR FOOD..

(This is going to be a no brainer as always, so if there is shortage of time, you know what to do( BINGO Skip this!!)

When :

• You are way too lazy to make yourself food and there's nothing edible in the fridge
• When you want a quick fix to the uncontrollable hunger pangs
• When you don't feel like going out to eat or order food home( because you can't wait)
• When the cafeteria guy at your workplace suddenly forgets to wake up to serve you breakfast
• When you want something appetizing and tasty even if it is zero on nutrition.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind? For me it's Maggi anyday, anytime, everytime. I know it has no nutritional value, it might be fattening, it's unhealthy, maybe even gross( So we could skip comments like those. Yeah? Good).  Two good reasons to have it are :One  it takes 10 minutes to make( I don't know why they call them 2 minute noodles. Maybe if you're Microwaving them it takes just that much. I haven't tried that yet) and Two they are very tasty! No I am not advocating it. By all means have green leafy vegetables, salads, soups, wheat bread sandwitches, green tea. The works! Basically anything healthy you can lay your hands on. But just once it a blue moon it can't harm you can it? (I hope it doesn't)

They can't really be that harmful considering the fact that noodles are the staple diet of the Chinese and Pizza is the staple diet of the Italians ( And we in India, call it junk!! Pray why!!)

Alright. Why this jazz? Well, I ended up having it for breakfast (Blame the guy who generally serves wonderful breakfast but chose to skip work this morning, which left me with nothing better to eat. Alright, maybe there was something better. Big deal!), and after writing this piece I feel like having it again. Take two. Why the jazz? Because I have  had   alright had decided to abstain from it and broke my pledge. Not once but many times over. Do I regret it. No!! Fantastic!!

So until the Maggi packets come with a statutory warning, the pledge goes to the dogs and stays with them!

A VERY SPECIAL GIFT

  

This is what Sparkling sent me today. 17 roses on the 17th of September. It is more than special because NO ONE has ever sent me such exotic flowers! Each of them is flawlessly perfect and very beautiful. So to be receiving THIS BIG a bouquet takes me to a level above cloud 9 (Still floating and have no intentions of coming down). I went crazy clicking pictures of them to preserve them for eternity. Thank you Sparkling! THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH! You have NO idea how much this means to me! You really made my day!