Stressed and stretched- to the limit!

I'd wonder long and hard how people who said "I miss school" and "I miss the college days" could feel that way. What can you possibly miss about a time when all that you had to do was prepare for tests and worry about getting good grades and marks!

Sitting outside a school the other day, I caught myself saying the exact same words. Like they say- Never say never!

The situation is so different these days! I looked forward to my one week of training last week. A week of sheer bliss when I wouldn't have to work. No targets to achieve. No reports of your productivity and quality flooding your inbox. Just learn and relax. I'd come home and sleep like a baby! The Monday blues are at their worst today.

I can complain all I like about inadequate training and how we're expected to know 6 new technologies in 5 days and start implementing them from day 7. But who is listening and more importantly who cares! It's a mad rat race. Now it was THIS that you never faced in school and college. We had pathetic teachers but we had time to learn things on our own by bunking college. How do I convince myself to come home from work and study the same matter with which I've struggled for the past 10 hours? And study is the last thing on my list of things to do on the weekend. Call me lazy if you like. I don't have a very different opinion about myself either. I refuse to give 24 hours of my time to the company! Hell I need some me time. Some time to do the things I like to do. Lead a normal life. Spend time with friends (I do that whenever I get a chance, but that's so not enough), give quality time to parents. And for heaven's sake not sit glumly like a meteor hit me!

In college you could bunk. Damn the attendance. I wish it was as easy here. One of our biggest festivals (Diwali) went by and I couldn't as much as be home to celebrate. Reason- not everyone can be given a leave that day. Tell me more! I'd applied for a leave on new year's eve (2 months in advance). Ofcourse they denied my leave.

Ever so often I get those mad impulses to quit work and sit at home and do nothing. The idea seems so lucrative! But I also know that within 2 weeks I'd tire myself out by doing so. But this much action is something I surely don't look forward to!

I am so done with feeling stressed out. I was supposed to study this weekend to prepare myself for the war on Monday. I didn't do it. I saw movies all day on Saturday. Slept like it's nobody's business and treated myself to a haircut on Sunday.

During one of the enlightening moments I had recently, a voice within said "Don't bring work home". And I listened it. By not bringing work home, it meant not to bring the worries and tension and leave everything that reeks of work at the workplace. I tried that for a week and it had amazing results. I was calmer and so much more like myself. Today I seem to be going back to being that someone I wasn't.

The working of the fourth largest company in the world, doesn't solely depend on my already overburdened shoulders.

I know it won't be easy today and I accept that. I will try by best and forget about the rest. I shall not see the emails from my manager which talk about quality and productivity and all that jazz. I care not if I am doing poorly.

Until sanity prevails again, please take good care of yourselves and keep the stress at bay through yoga. Eat well and do whatever pleases your soul.

A little bit of this and that

Very honestly, I don't even know where to begin. The thought of boring my dwindling audience did come to me, but I have pushed it aside.

Have I become overly busy? No! I still work for the same duration. I am paid more, I eat more, fret more and stress even more. Do I need all that "more"? Honestly I can do without the fretting and stressing, sadness and depression. I don't need any more of that. Who does! But being a positive person, I've come to realize, takes a lot of doing. Realistically put, you can't be  positive 24*7. But the ratio of positive to negative is what you've got to work on. So that its always a positive figure and never in fractions. That takes some doing. Negative thinking has such a snowball effect. One negative thought attracts another and before you know it you've plummeted into a bottomless pit of despair. Everything seems hopeless, when in reality it isn't. It could ALWAYS get worse.

It's said that when you ask for something from all your heart and your intentions do someone other than yourself some good, and you want it bad enough, the entire cosmos conspires to give it to you. If you want to meet someone who is a living testimony of this, say Hello to me!

What you ask isn't given to you instantly though. At times it requires patience and time. And within that period if you start to despair and begin to think that your wish will never be granted- Poof! It won't be granted. Faith and conviction come into play there.

Alright. Do you need to hear that? No! Don't you already know all this? Of course you do! And what prompted me into going the similar route one more time? A reflection. That just when everything seems to be going well and you're happy again comes a brand new roadblock. God hates monotony, just like us humans maybe!

You can either sit and admire the roadblock for hours and days and weeks. And wish that it'd disappear when you reopen your eyes. Or you can put on your smile and your thinking hat and prance around the roadblock. Easier said that done. But worth a try. If it works once, you'll be prompted to try it again. And again. So for one tiny problem of your day-whatever it might be, however small it might be. Try being positive. Catch your negative thinking and nip it in the bud. Think of solutions. Have a little more faith in yourself. Believe that whatever you have asked for is on the way. Just looking for parking :)

Heal yourself

The words "Take care" are used so casually at the end of most of our conversations. But do we women really take the time to actually take care of ourselves?

We find the time for all the pressing needs of the day. Work , family, friends. But does that list always include yourself?

Do you take the time to listen to your body? Hear it cry out for attention? Have you wondered why you're suddenly plagued by that back-ache, dandruff, falling hair, and what not? Wondered why you're noticing it all only when it's all intensified and aggravated? Found yourself wishing you'd noticed it all earlier?

Everything else becomes a greater priority than yourself. But if you don't take care of yourself, how will you take care of and love everyone who is close to you?

The media and the world around conjure up images of a superwoman. One who excels at work and is the perfect mother, daughter, wife, girlfriend and every other relation. All of that is expected out of us. But out of the 24 hours, how much time do we spend on ourselves? How much time do we spend on exercising, eating right, meditating and doing things to nourish our soul?

Happiness comes from the little things and almost always from within. You know you are responsible for your own happiness. Then why not spend a few hours on yourself so that you can better take care of all of your responsibilities and the world's expectations of you?

P.S: I'm talking to myself here and am sure each of you women out there already know all this. This was today's realization for me and I just had to put the feelings into words.