Have you ever felt like running away to far off place, up in the mountains (or a valley below), where no one can find you, and you can't find anyone. Where you don't know anyone, and no one knows you. Where you don't care about anyone, and no one cares about you? If wishes were horses, I'd own a stable!
Life. Chaos is thy name. With a few moments in between when it lets you breathe and makes you feel all is well. Some fleeting moments that! Within a blink of the eye, things have gone ahead, taking you along with them, catching you unawares. Such is the state of affairs here.
As much as you try, it's difficult to change the memories of the time gone by. Years may pass by, but they will remain the same. Your perspective might change, and that might change the person you are, but they remain. The whole series of what-ifs and why's. Of why did and why didn'ts.
Some life experiences make you a better human being, and some make you bitter. Can you blame anyone else for it but yourself?
Someone somewhere will always gets hurt by our actions. Whether we like it or we don't. Whether we intend it or we don't. Consciously or unconsciously we'd cause someone great grief. Sometimes, life doesn't give us any choices. Causing great anxiety and greater sorrow. How much sadness we've caused someone, or will cause someone, we will know one day. That will be the day we learn the lessons we didn't learn while we were supposed to. To perfect ourselves, we'll be granted another chance. Another lifetime. We know what's happening isn't right. But sometimes, it's just beyond us to change anything. We can't even refuse to be a part of it. Such is the dilemma. Such is the vicious circle. Such is life!
One day life will prove to us that what happened was for our own good. There wasn't another way. It will show us the signs. The hand of God.
No matter how carefully you tread, you are bound to err. While we walk we trample so much that we see, and so much that we don't.
The only hope is that our creator up above,watches us every second and realizes that we didn't do whatever we did with ill intentions. That our hearts were pure and only wanted good. For ourselves, the one's who lives we touch and one's whose lives we'll change forever.
7 people were gracious enough to leave comments:
You know sweetie, I think it's time you went out with your friends and had a real party...you think too hard, too deep, it's time to have some fun.....:-) Hugs
Bernie is right Stillnes...one can worry too much. Is it your job that makes you second guess yourself and worry of your affect on others? One can have regrets and learn from them when young, but don't end up living your lfe with them. Be easier on yourself.
Luv and Smiles,
Wanda
Tranquility,
You are really in fast lane to think of running away to wilderness. Just remember - Past is past, it is gone. I wrote a post Ifs and Buts some time ago. Do read it if you can. As long as we follow our conscience and do our duty honestly without any malicious intentions then even if someone is hurt by our call of duty it is no fault of ours. You yourself said near the end that our hearts are pure and we wanted good.
Take care
Tranquility....I do have to sympathize with your feelings. I have had some of the same types of feelings. They are fleeing (thank goodness)...but I do understand where you are coming from when you post what you posted today.
My wish for you is that you find friends....peace....and surround yourself with those people that bring you much joy. The past is the past, but it is sometimes difficult to put it away. The best way to do that is to find something positive and self-fulfilling that brings you the happiness that you so desperately want and long for. I hope that comes to you soon...and stays with you for a long long time. Don't let the things of the past weigh you down to the point that you can't see that the future hold something so much brighter for you. If only we could see ahead into it...we wouldn't stress and worry over those things that have caused us grief. Again, these things are easy to say...hard to do...but with prayer and determination, you can do it. I have faith in you my dear friend. You have a friend in me. I'm praying for you. I truly am.
With many hugs and smiles,
Jackie
So well said! And if you are like me... one day the very things that may have made you bitter in the past... get reconciled in a most astonishing way... truly, they won't matter any longer. It takes some time and new life experiences to fill the gap, but all shall be well!
BERNIE: I will Bernie :-)
WANDA: Not my job, just the choices I make in my life. Whatever happens in my life, I'd have no regrets :-) Trying to just be. I'll worry later :)
JACK: Rightly said!
JACKIE: My wish for you is that you find friends....peace....and surround yourself with those people that bring you much joy. Doing JUST that Jackie! What began to worry me was the choices I could be forced to make and their effect on others. No regrets about whatever happened in the past Jackie. Don't worry! And thank you for everything Jackie :)
VICKY: I find so much solace in your words. Thank you so much for sharing these pearls of wisdom with me :-)
Tranquility....You know that I'm going to 'pop' back in here and check on my friend. Soooo, here I am.....
Now.. How are you, my friend? I know that you 'tell it like it is'...and I'm counting on that.
I send you a hug...hoping that you always hold onto it....no matter what.
Smiles to you from Jackie
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