Notes to self...

Conversation with God

I've often heard it said that "Whatever happens, happens for Good". I can site several examples from my own life to testify this. While I'm in the middle of it all, I often ask you to show me the good in what you do. You often take weeks and months to show me your intention. When I view the same situation from a greater perspective I've often seen why you did whatever you did, and how it was for my own good.

But this time, dear God. I don't see the good in what you just did. I've always believed that it's only gold that passes through the fire seven times. But don't you at times feel that you are straining and testing us to our breaking limits. That you are going beyond our limits of tolerance and patience. 

Why are some people given everything on the platter, while the others have to struggle to even get the basics? Don't you feel it impacts our self esteem and morale? You have taught us to get up and gather the pieces every time life deals a blow. Don't you ever feel at times that you are overdoing it? I've even heard that you test those who you love the most. It provokes me to sometimes wish you didn't love me and my loved one's so much. It breaks me to see my loved ones go through so much hardship and sorrow.When my tears flow relentlessly, how does it leave you unscathed and unmoved?

As always, I wait to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The silver lining to the dark looming cloud. I have the faith that you will show it to me soon. I am hopeful that you will show me a miracle. Show me that you do exist and care. If nothing else, tell me through some channel what your intentions are.

A warm hello to everyone!

It's been unusually long since I last posted. It's been three days since I last checked my mails. Please (down on my knees) pardon me for not having visited you. I realize I've missed out on so much. I promise I will catch up! (Eyes downcast)

Let me give you a lowdown on what happened last week. I had a long weekend, so how do I choose to spend it? By falling ill of course! In the peak of Indian summers, I choose to get fever. The kind on which paracetamol has no effect whatsoever! Is that it? Oh no no no. As if immense weakness and body pain wasn't enough, I get an eye infection too! Time check: How many days do I have to get well before office resumes? 2 days. Do I get well in that much time? You bet! Bingo! Temperature check in the morning I have to leave for office: No fever. Weakness: None. Status of throat: bad but can talk. Cough: Yes. It takes weeks to go away.

How am I now? In between my coughing spells, I'm good. Am I taking cough syrups? Oh yes. I've consumed half a bottle already. Am I getting better? Can't tell. Shall let you know. (What else can I talk about anyways!)

Now if I got better in 2 days, why didn't I bother posting? Because I'd get back and sleep instantly. My Mom would come and wake me up for dinner, and I'd wonder (in a semi conscious state) if she's taken an appointment before she talks to me! Now isn't that psychotic! Work at the back of my mind. Nothing else.

In the weekends I learn how to detect defects in  defective programs programmers write. So here I am! 

Now isn't this such a sorry post! I sincerely thank you for getting to this line. God bless you with good health and everlasting happiness :-)